Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon
by Iris Chmal
Summary: The four Hogwarts founders chance upon a sleeping dragon. Gryffindor gets curious. 'Nuff said. Features: Godric, Rowena, Helga and Salazar!


Summary: The four founders chance upon a sleeping dragon. Gryffindor gets curious. 'Nuff said.  
  
A/N: HI! HI! Just to explain a few things! In this fic all four founders are actually rather close friends (with exception for Helga and Salazar that is ;p He just LOVES to tease her. Hehe.) They haven't founded Hogwarts yet and have been wandering around for some time but sadly their money has just run out. So they're stuck in a Muggle town while trying to gather enough funds to get ferry tickets. ENJOY!  
  
~*~  
  
A black haired man in soiled emerald green dragged his tired feet to a flight of stairs. Clinging to the railing for support, he painfully made his way up. A snake was curled about his neck and it hissed encouragingly. His back was sore from so much stooping but how else would you feel after spending a whole day crouched over in goblin tunnels. He groaned miserably as he hauled himself up. Someone must have heard him for the door above creaked open and out popped a curious head. She was dressed in a florid bright yellow. Salazar Slytherin groaned again, followed by a silent curse.  
  
"Ooooh!" Helga cooed, jumping up and down excitedly. "Look! Slytherin's back! He's back!!"  
  
"Salazar!" a maroon-robed man beamed, rushing down the stairs to aid the weary wizard up. "So how much did the goblins pay ya?"  
  
"Five Galleons that's how much! Can you believe that Godric?? Five Galleons!" the dark haired wizard answered wearily in sheer disgust, shifting his weight so that his best friend could help him up.  
  
But the other witch mistook Salazar's meaning. "Did you just say Galleons?? FIVE Galleons! Oh mercy me! How generous of them! I've never even _seen_ a Galleon before... could I touch it??" Helga gurgled in awe.  
  
Slytherin snapped his head about and glared at her icily. "GENEROUS??" he roared, causing Helga to shrink back in terror. "I risk my life, sprain my back and cast some of the best unbreakable spells I've ever conjured in my entire life and all they give is a lousy pouch of FIVE freaking Galleons!!!" he paused and turned away, shaking his head. "Guess you can't expect much from a Hufflepluff,"  
  
"HufflePUFF!!!!" Helga screeched, shaking her fist about perpetually.  
  
"How childish." he continued but was halted by another.  
  
"Salazar," a beautiful woman chided, coming out from the doorway. She was dressed in dark blue with a bronze-colored embroidery of an eagle, a falcon and an owl on her robe.  
  
Slytherin snorted but changed the subject. "Anyway, I have found out that goblins are cunning little creatures - I know that they purposely wore me out so that I wouldn't have enough energy to just blast them away and rob them!!"  
  
"Please tell me that that wasn't your original reason to aiding the goblins set up their bank," Godric said with a sigh. They had reached the insides of the humble room all four shared and Gryffindor carefully settled his friend onto a chair. Salazar winced.  
  
"Something wrong with your back Salazar?"  
  
The wizard glanced up and grinned wryly at Rowena. "The pain diminishes when I behold the wealth I have amassed," he declared, flinging out a small pouch from his muddy cloak.  
  
"Poor baby," Godric sympathized dutifully, idly poking at the pouch with his wand.  
  
"Ah, I know!" Rowena cried out, snapping her elegant fingers together. "I've just read a book."  
  
The three others exchanged knowing glances. ". 'Sprains and Massaging: For Advanced Learner'. I think I've studied it enough and all I need is some form of practical work," she linked her fingers together and cracked them forward, palms front.  
  
"Godric, hide me!" Salazar hissed fearfully, seizing the other's arm. But Rowena got to him first and hauled the green-robed wizard away. Helga and Godric cringed when they heard horrible shrieks crying out from the bedroom, followed by admonishing scolding from Rowena.  
  
"Well, I guess it's my turn to go looking for money," Gryffindor said with a sigh, getting to his feet. With a smooth movement he buckled his trusty sword to his belt and plunked his pointed hat on. Another awful scream echoed and Godric grimaced. "I seriously don't think Rowena knows what she's doing -" he shrugged and left. "I'll save him when I get back."  
  
Once outside, Godric tried to keep a low profile - but it was rather hard when everyone was wearing dull black and you were wearing maroon (with gold highlights). However, he soon noticed that most people had their attention somewhere else; they were all running northwards. Curious, Godric decided to follow. A huge crowd had amassed in front of a large makeshift dais and there was loud muttering and pointing.  
  
"What's going on?" Gryffindor asked the nearest man.  
  
"Dragon," and that seemed to answer everything.  
  
The muttering began to calm when a trumpet blew, announcing the arrival of someone important. Godric strained to see pass the crowd of heads and briefly pondered using his magic. At that moment however, a richly dressed nobleman stepped up onto the dais and gave a slight wave. He had a snotty look and an air of arrogance, which Godric didn't quite like.  
  
"My dear people, it has come to my attention that a dragon has invaded our beloved valley! It has burned our crops and devoured our livestock! It shall grow bolder! Soon it may start burning, not only our fields, but also our homes! Soon, it will start carrying our virgin daughters to its evil lair to a fate too horrible to imagine!" he halted when the crowd began talking all at once but Gryffindor merely rolled his eyes. Dragons carrying of virgin girls indeed, such rubbish these Muggles spin up. "It must be stopped! Therefore, I have decided to call in a famous dragon slayer from Bristow and he shall kill the dreaded beast and keep our lands safe again!!" an expected cheer broke lose. "Yet such a deed cannot be carried out without us justly rewarding our savior!" many heads nodded. "So we should offer this dragon slayer a _small_ token of our appreciation - say, one thousand gold coins." The townsfolk were uneasy with this news, one thousand was a lot, but this was a dragon they were talking about. Reluctantly the crowd agreed. "Excellent! Taxes shall be raised to cover the reward!" a huge gasp erupted but the nobleman waved his hands coolly. "For the safety of our children, we must make this sacrifice! Oh, and he would need a small band of escort," with that the man flicked his fine fur cloak and turned away to board his carriage.  
  
After hearing the last sentence, the crowd began to rapidly disperse. Godric glanced about, waiting for this so-called hero but only a group of surly looking men approached him. "You there!" the dirtiest (and quite possibly ugliest) one yelled. Looking left and right in puzzlement, Godric finally pointed at himself questioningly. "Yeah you maroon-boy! Fancy making a quick dime?"  
  
"Not really," he answered, Muggle money was quite useless to wizards, unless you had a strange hobby.  
  
"Pah! Leave him be Skank, he'd probably shriek like a girl and worry bout getting dirty!!" a second one sneered, leading his bunch away.  
  
The wizard's cheeks flushed to the color of his robe, his left hand inching its way towards his wand, right hand towards his sword. 'No magic!' he warned himself mentally, fighting back his rage at the insult. 'Walk away. just like Helga said. no magic. no fighting. keep low profile' Stiffly, Gryffindor turned and stomped away, struggling to ignore the hooting laughter that ensued.  
  
~*~  
  
"You should have just snuck back and given them a good curse," Salazar said bitterly, shaking his head in disapproval. "You know, turn them into a frog or give them warts or make them crave eating raw squid for a month or even better - a frog with warts that craves eating raw squid. You should have done _something_!"  
  
Godric said nothing and continued eating his soup with single-minded intensity. His cheeks were still flushed and there was a strange tic developing by his right temple.  
  
Slytherin watched his friend for a moment and shook his head. "Fine! I'll go back there and do it for you - frogs with warts that crave eating ra-"  
  
"No Salazar," the other wizard interrupted flatly. "We have to keep a low profile; this is a Muggle town, we can't risk it,"  
  
The black-haired man leaned sourly back into his wooden chair. "You speak as though we could not handle them. There are four of us Godric; anyone of us could handle a whole lynch mob with one hand tied behind our back, blind- folded while standing on a broomstick! Well, except for Hufflepluff, she is more Muggle than magic,"  
  
"HufflePUFF, and don't say that Salazar; she does try really hard to be as good as us. Growing up in a Muggle village does inhibit magical expression. Give her some time," he paused to stare at the other. "Blindfolded on a broomstick? Hmm."  
  
"Godric!!!" a voice suddenly yelled angrily. Both wizards turned around to see Rowena and Helga entering the room. "Don't you even dare! And Slytherin! Stop giving that fool any more ideas!" Helga scolded, releasing her bag of groceries onto the table. "What are you two eating??" she leaned closer. "Magically conjured soup!!! What did I tell you?? No MAGIC!! The only way we can survive without being burned or lynched is by NOT USING MAGIC!!! They'll jump on the slightest incantation!"  
  
"We were hungry." Godric answered meekly, sometimes Helga could get quite scary.  
  
"Rowena and I had gone for groceries! We were going to come back and cook!" Helga continued, ignoring the horrified look that flitted across Ravenclaw's face.  
  
"To wait for you Hufflepluff is akin to waiting for a dragon to molt - you'd be dead before it even gets to it," Salazar answered in mock solemnest.  
  
"HUFFLEPUFF!!!!" the yellow robed witch shrieked, tears coming to her eyes. "Why do you always have to TEASE me!! I - I hope Rowena gives you another massage!" that was as vulgar as Helga's cursing got, but she did succeed in getting his face to cloud briefly in dread.  
  
"Salazar!" Rowena scowled, chasing after her fellow witch who dashed away into another room.  
  
"One big happy family," Godric sighed, sipping on his spoonful of rock soup. Then he stopped and his momentary cheerfulness died away - the mention of a dragon had reminded him of his insult. "I'm not afraid of a dragon." he muttered.  
  
The emerald-cloaked wizard cocked his head quizzically. "I never said you were." he paused, nimbly mind working fast. "Oh, that's what those Mug- brains said huh? Do not take to heart what they say Godric; they know nothing. Those non-magic idiots probably have never even seen one before," Salazar continued, reaching for his mug.  
  
"There was a commotion outside, apparently a dragon has decided to roost here."  
  
A whole spray of water spluttered out of Slytherin's mouth, smack-dab onto Godric's face.  
  
"W-What?? Please don't joke with me Godric!!"  
  
Taking out his wand, the wizard cast a quick-dry spell but continued to scowl at Salazar. "You know I don't joke, and when I do it usually involves some form of physical performance."  
  
"Owl fluff! Why does such noise cry??" Rowena opened the adjourning bedroom door to peek outside.  
  
"Gryffindor is telling jokes?" Helga snuffled, rubbing her red nose with a dainty sleeve as she pushed her head pass Rowena's frame to stare outside. Her eyes were still puffy and red from crying. "I could use a good laugh."  
  
"D-Dragon!" Salazar stammered out, jumping from his seat and pointing at Godric.  
  
Both witches frowned and glanced at Godric uncomprehendingly. "Ah, Gryffindor is going to transfigure into a dragon?" Rowena guessed uncertainly. "Quite a hard task I may add, I read this book that discussed the possibility of a person being multi animagi."  
  
"Oh! I know! I know!" Helga squealed, clapping her hands excitedly. "Godric is actually a dragon-prince who has come to earth in the disguise of a wizard to seduce unwitting maidens away from their horribly tragic and mundane life and take them to a world of freedom, adventure and true love!" she clutched both hands to her chest and stared dreamily in the general direction of the ceiling.  
  
"I am??" Godric asked to no one in particular.  
  
By this time, Salazar seemed to have gotten over his initial shock. "What utter dribble!" he yelled at Helga. "I wasn't calling _him_ a dragon, I was reacting to our dear Gryffindor's _sense of importance_!"  
  
"You're using that cynical tone of yours again Sal, which means I probably did something wrong," Godric thought hard, trying to recall what it was. "My _sense of importance_?"  
  
"Which do you think is more important??" Salazar groaned, slapping his forehead. "Telling your best friend that you've just been insulted by a bunch of pathetic Muggles or telling him about your discovery that a DRAGON is within the vicinity!"  
  
"The former of course! Insults are terrible things!" Helga spoke up immediately.  
  
Slytherin awarded the witch a hard stare but finally shook his head and looked away. "And she said it so sincerely." he muttered.  
  
"Alright! Alright!" Gryffindor said, standing up. "But I don't see what's so great about finding a dragon, they're pretty common if you know where to look,"  
  
"You know, dragons are one of the three most powerful magical creatures in all the known worlds - their flame cuts through most spell weaving and their hides are immune to many potions! I've also read that some wizards and witches speculate that dragon blood could have up to five possible uses instead of just three! Which I think is quite true since I read in another book that -"  
  
"That's nice Rowena, but could you elaborate on the aspect of dragon hoards?" Salazar interrupted so smoothly, that Rowena thought he was actually encouraging her to rant about her reading. She flashed him the most radiant smile and continued on happily.  
  
"Dragon hoards? Oh yes! I remember reading in many journals of explores chancing upon huge mountains of gold and silver within dragon caves. Apparently the males hoard such treasurers as a way of enticing females because the glitter acts as a sort of-" she stopped dead in her tracks, eyes going wide. "Endless Eagles... NO! THAT IS ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THE QUESTION!!!!"  
  
"What is??" Godric asked, puzzled. He was ignored.  
  
"But Rowena." Salazar pleaded, taking her hand.  
  
She snatched it away and continued starring at him fiercely. "NO! NO!! It's suicide to chance such a thing!! And moreover, most of the accounts of dragon hoards are secondary - whispered rumors and campfire tales!" she folded her arms defiantly. "I FORBID you to even consider such a thing!"  
  
"What thing??" Godric continued, frowning harder.  
  
"The bounty would be great." Salazar said, meeting her unwavering gaze.  
  
Rowena shook her head. "We don't need money _that_ badly Salazar, not so much as to risk our lives!"  
  
"Um, excuse me." Godric implored, sounding a little desperate.  
  
"It won't _be_ a risk Rowena! Together we could do it, all four of us: Helga will be bait; Godric will save her if things get sticky, you distract the dragon with your spells and I'll vanish its hoard. We just need to engage the creature long enough for me to get into its cave and cast my transfer spell,"  
  
"Wait. wait, are you two suggesting for us to _rob_ a hundred ton, 20 feet long dragon?" Gryffindor said in disbelieve. "And _I_ thought I had serious thrill issues,"  
  
"Salazar is, I'm rebuking it," Rowena answered flatly.  
  
"FINE!!!" Slytherin suddenly yelled, kicking his chair back and charging out of the room in a fury.  
  
"Now what's gotten into him?" Helga murmured after a stifling silence. Rowena looked remorseful but the remaining wizard's face was strangely impassive.  
  
"I'll go talk to him," he said finally, getting up and plopping on his pointed hat.  
  
~*~  
  
TBC!!!!!! PLEASE REVIEWWWWWWWW!!!! So I can actually have the reason to write the continuation! Please, please review!!! Thanks! =^____^= 


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